The coffeemaker doesn't know how to make coffee.
No matter what way you put the beans in the container,
no matter how much or how little water you put in it,
It will never make coffee.
It will only make something akin to coffee.
Coffee's second cousin.
Coffee flavored water.
Coffee that is 99% water.
You can't even put anything in it!
That's how damn weak it is.
What's the metaphor here though?
The metaphor is: Using someone else's kitchen is hard.
In short: Not everything is a damn metaphor.
Mood: Not Impressed